Hello, Spring!

Let the new plants spring forth, blooming flowers' scent fill the air, the sun shine and beam unto our faces as we beam back, the rainbow decorate the blue skies. For crying out loud, how can you be blue? Even the birds of the air know it's Spring time, for I can hear them sing a happy song. Hello, Spring!

What needs to be reinforced is the idea of happiness, for Winter has gradually sauntered out and made way for the delightful Spring. Spring is the personification of 'bliss'.

Yes, there is nothing new about Spring, we have seen it before, and it only comes to pass. But, when was the last time you experienced a day when all the beautiful ladies show skin and assets, as if it were an ass and thigh parade? That is one of the reasons why I love this season. Yes, nature and atmosphere are beautiful, but our ladies tend to be even more beautiful and adorable.

It is time for the yellow bones to show off - let them show off their mellow and appealing skin. How attractive and picturesque they are! Go ahead, find yourself one that is gifted back and front, and you will have one pleasant Spring. I've been going on about yellow bones, but what's Spring without a variety? What's Spring without a mixture of colours? Now I'm talking about brownies. I mean there has to be diversity; it cannot be all yellow. They(brownies), too, are pleasing to the senses, and  appealing to the eye.
Most of the ladies are flocking up gyms because they need to get rid of that extra fat they gained during Winter. They need to look good and be easy on the eye, especially in those bikinis, miniskirts and shorts - way to go, ladies!, but by and large, it's all in the name of taking care of themselves. I mean, if you are gonna reveal and expose your body to the world, you have no choice but make it worth looking at and admirable. I don't know if I'm being too mean, but nobody wants to waste his/her time looking at something that isn't inviting and appealing.

To add on the beauty and essence of this wonderful season - it comes with it a lot of partying, people go out more often, some meet new people and make new friends, and also new couples 'spring' forth. Clubs and bars are always chock-a-flock full, beaches get saturated, and leisure parks see more and more people fill up. As Robin Williams famously remarked that Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's Party!" I couldn't agree with him more.
 It is a bright and colourful season, I guess that is why people tend to wear so much garish colours. They take it as a way of complementing the season, but some overdo it, and it ends up looking as if they are competing with it instead. I'm not condemning being colourful , but if you will do it, you just have to be careful not to overdo it.

I can feel the euphoria already! If only everyday of the year was like this. Let's just wait and see what this Spring has in store for us. There cannot be any gainsaying that everybody, gay, straight, black or white, appreciates the brilliance of Spring. Hello, and welcome, Spring!

WHAT DOES DJ KHALED REALLY DO?

KISS THE RING

After seeing the title of of this article, it is probable that your subsequent words to yourself were,"of course he's a DJ, moron!". Yes, we might know that already because he has the 'DJ' title attached to his name. But that still does not answer the question, "what does DJ Khaled really do?"

All right, let's put a couple of things into perspective. The man is on his 6th album right now, six successful albums! The strange part of it all is that he does not rap, although in his latest album he has one or two bars to shine on, but that does not classify him as a rapper. So what does he really do?

After listening to his latest offering, 'Kiss The Ring', I exclaimed to myself, "wow! DJ Khaled has outdone himself yet again!", but I quickly asked myself, "what did he really do in this album? besides, of course, shouting 'deeeeeejay Khaled!'. He only 'co-produced' a mere 3 tracks. That means he did not produce them all by himself, he had other producers helping him out. So what does he really do?

Do not, even at once, get me wrong. I'm a big fan of his, ever since his first album, but I won't let my sentiments about him come in the way of this article. I just felt like I have to touch on this man's super strange career. I'm, however, compelled to give him props on this new 'Kiss The Ring' album. It's an excellent piece of work, I think every track is blazing. The album features everyone. By 'everyone', I mean every hottest artist at the moment...and it can also mean 'other', like the annoyingly animated 'Starships' singer - perhaps a wanna be singer.The album is raw and rough as if to immunize the listener with some antidote to some grimmer situations. Despite all that, the question still remains, what does DJ Khaled really do?

This is an apt question for a man who manages to get some of the best rappers the world has ever seen to work on his albums, yet it is unclear what he himself does. Kanye West, Rick Ross, Meek Mill, Lil Wayne, T.I, to name but a few, are some of the featured artists that will make 'Kiss The Ring' a success. Khaled sure has the best of both worlds. But what does he really do?

Well, whatever it is that you do, Khaled, sure works for you. You must be clinking glass, celebrating.

FRIEND ZONE

For a guy, being friend-zoned is the worst thing that could ever happen to your sex game, pride and ego. it simply turns you into a girl's doormat and a mere douchbag. One good thing about this whole friend zone thing is that guys can friend zone chicks too, especially unattractive thirsty chicks. However, it is rare for a guy to friend zone a chick.

We just have to accept the fact that we men are weak and loose. We just cannot fight that natural sexual desire. That is why a man has two heads...when the lower head thinks, the upper head simply becomes useless. It just cannot function/think. It is hard to resist.

I won't dwell much on the definition of 'friend zone'. But in a nutshell and simple terms, it is when you want a sexual or romantic relationship with the other person, but unfortunately they see you as a friend, nothing beyond that. So you are everything but screwed !

Being friend-zoned is like torture. Once you are cast into the friend zone pit, I'm sorry but it's over for you!It means you will never hit the sheets with that lady, well, you may if you are lucky, but it will be one helluva mission. Once you are friend-zoned, there are two things you can subsequently do: Either move on or settle for being a friend. Yes, it's simple like that! Moving on may feel like a cowardice move and some form of giving up, and on the other hand, if you settle for friendship then you have to be prepared to see some smart ass guy that will come and sweep her off her feet and tap her!...and guess what...she will tell you about it, after all friendship is about opening up to each other, right?

My policy of avoiding being friend-zoned is: Show your intentions from the word 'go'. If you beat around the bushes you will become that nice guy, that overly nice, sweet and moist guy. That alone is enough to get you relegated to the friend zone league.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE FRIEND-ZONED IF:

• She tells you about other guys
• She tells you she's gonna hook you up with some girl
• She tells you she can talk to you about anything
• She says you are now like a brother to her...(that's more like family zone to me)